Good Leaders Often Lose

"I've missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot . . . and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

- Michael Jordan

Losing has value because winning has value. In all great endeavors—in all great victories and accomplishments—there is a lot of losing. I remember hearing that you have to learn to win - the best way to learn to win is to learning from losing.

The classic story is Thomas Edison. He had the basic idea for the light bulb but had to work hard to find the right filament, bulb, base, and so forth. In his first hundred attempts the bulb either did not work or only worked for a very short while.

Edison was not discouraged by this (or at least he did not let on that he was discouraged). From his perspective, he had discovered a hundred ways not to make a light bulb.

When we learn to do anything, we first learn how not to do it.

Sometimes we forget the frustrations we’ve been through. For example, we forget—either intentionally or unintentionally—the frustration of learning to ride a bike. But as we help a child, we come face to face with this frustration. And we want, as parents, to make it easy and to help the child learn. But we can only help so much.

At some point the child has to just keep trying until the bike stays upright. And suddenly, after trying hundreds of ways not to ride a bike, success is achieved. And instantly one more person begins to forget the frustration it took to learn to ride a bike.

A great part of “winning” the human race is to focus on the good and the glorious and the victorious. But we grow better and we grow faster when we learn from our mistakes and our losses.

Lesson 1 - But don't forget that winning and losing do matter.

Winning is the goal. But, you learn more sportsmanship from losing than from winning!

The value of losing only comes when you examine your loss. What did you do or not do? How did you act? Did you take the initiative or react to someone else? Were you focused on the job at hand?

Again, sports and help us learn to lose as well as to win.

In the Olympics I am constantly amazed at some of the things human beings can do with their bodies. And I marvel at the tremendous heartbreak that must happen daily. How many times have we seen this story: An internationally recognized athlete performs “perfectly” in the trials. Then, in the final run she performs a personal best. She sets a national record, an Olympic record, and a world record. She’s in first place and the gold medal is almost hers. She has done every single thing she can do to be the best. Then, a half hour later, someone does better. And now she’s second place.

Lesson Two: Sometimes you can do everything right and still not win.

You can be trained and skilled, experienced, focused, prepared, have all the resources, know all the right people, make no mistakes—and still not win. You hang your head and say “Okay, remind me again about the value of losing.”

Losing is inevitable. Everyone loses sometimes. That doesn’t mean you give into it. That doesn’t mean you accept it. Losing is simply a thing. It exists. It happens. It is what it is.

But losing is not who you are. Everyone loses. Even the winners. You’re not a loser, you’re a winner. The fact that you lose sometimes does not change the fact that you’re a winner.

Learn from your losses. Be composed. Maintain your self control. Maintain focus.

Reflection helps, but maintaining focus and being totally aware of the moment at the time of loss will help you learn the most. Harsh, negative reactions will only get in the way.

The biggest winners are those who go right back into the game.